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200 Proof Absolute Truth

by Ekendra Dasa and the Planet Cow Orchestra

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1.
I was sufferin' like hell. I had the walkin' amnesia Whisky didn’t help - nor did Milk of Magnesia Kept lookin' in the mirror, yellin' “Who is that guy? Does it even matter if I live or I die? Who put me here? Maybe somebody goofed! I need absolute truth. Make it 200 proof.” My family shrink called it “existential fever” Aw, but I don’t think that’s it. I don’t believe her Mama said “Honey, it’s a passin’ phase. You’re gonna be fine in a couple of days.” I said, “I doubt it, Mom. Somethin’s rotten at the root. I need absolute Truth. Make it 200 Proof.” Don’t water it down. Give it to me straight I can’t stick around so don’t you be late The only thing keepin' me from leapin' off a roof Is absolute truth - 200 proof Gimme some o’ that brew that don’t go flat If you got a clue, let me know where it’s at I don’t care if it don’t go down smooth I need absolute truth - 200 proof There’s a place outside o’ this one story town Where you can get high and never come down Nobody throws up, everybody has a blast And the neon signs say “Home At Last” And even the grafitti on the telephone booth Is absolute truth - 200 proof
2.
Fool Maker 03:14
Well, my woman done left me, left me nothin but dirty dishes And I seen it comin’- seen it comin’ apart at the stitches. She had looks like Greta Garbo, a left hook like Smokin’ Joe, And a heart like one o’ them black-hat-and-broom-flyin’ witches. Now, I grew up thinkin’: “It’s such a fine thing to get shot by Cupid.” But any wise man knows - somethin’ in them arrows sure makes you stupid. I coulda been a Ph.D in math but that woman crossed my path, And to my chagrin, I turned right into a poop-head. chorus: ‘Cause it’s a fool maker, hits you like a fifth of liquor Turns you into a chump, then it’s a skip and a jump to the undertaker. They call it “fallin’ in love.” Well, whatever I fell off of, I’m gettin’ right back on it. Doggone it, I just can’t take another heartbreaker. Now, I seen that woman off with another love drunk daddy. She had a mink coat, diamond rings, sittin’ in a brand new Caddy. She was spendin’ all his dough. I stepped up and said, “Hello.” I shook his hand, I said, “Man, you got to be batty.”
3.
Red light up ahead, hurry up and get dead Cruisin’ in a long black, wild party in the back Driver got a lead foot, bridge is out—don’t look Paintin’ the town, your heartbeat a countdown to Draggin’ down a hallway in a hospital bed Red light up ahead. Cat gut, coon flat, ain’t gonna be that I’m invincible, long as my tank’s full Father Time? I can lick him. I’m gonna play chicken Wait til his eye whites get in my headlights See me on the TV set: “Man Found Without a Head.” Red light up ahead Keep your dumb road map, don’t need sissy crap Makin’ my own way—thanks a lot anyway Busted a fuel line—what’s that road sign? “Welcome to Death Valley.” shoulda got a Rand McNally Tried to get to heaven and I got to hell instead red light up ahead red light up ahead red light up ahead red light up ahead
4.
When I get up I wanna get back down Get on track? I never get around to it Gravity gets the best of me, apathy takes the rest Every day’s another great big fight to move myself to do what’s right. I got excuses out the wazoo why I don’t do what I ought to No way am I gonna get an easy ride - crucified’s more like it yeah, if I’m livin right and fightin the good fight Only one sure way to put right the wrong and I been standin on the parkin' brake for way too long but nothin' is as wrong as it seems to be ‘cause, Strength of the Strong, You’re within me oh make me strong enough to break on through there ain’t much that I can do without You Wastin' time and watchin' it waste me is a crime. It ain’t where I wanna be. I know what I got to do but I don’t do it. I try to get around, not through it. Everyday is gonna be a fight but it can be all right if I put all that I put into bein’ a fool into bein’ a fool for You Anyway, where it is said that I can just lie down and play dead and get the red carpet from the Goloka if I think it’s all a big joke?
5.
Oh, mind, it’s time we had a little conversation I can’t stand you runnin' around all over creation And I’m to blame—I can’t seem to tame you at all You are a 24/7 obscene phone call I try to meditate. I chant two hours a day Try my best to keep them bad desires away Soon as you see some scantily-clad bimbo My meditation flies right out the window Oh, my dear mind, why can’t you just stay on the trail - for a little while? Tell me why you got to fight me tooth and nail. Now, luckily for me, I got instructions— An owners’ manual full of Vedic injunctions Book is on the shelf-I really ought to read it Like anything else—a mind is what you feed it Oh, my dear mind, why can’t you just stay on the trail for a little while? Tell me why you got to fight me tooth and nail.
6.
I was feelin low down cause I had no job Instead of filet mignon, I was eatin' corn on the cob Then a platinum VISA came addressed to me So I cheered myself up with a big shoppin' spree To be or not to buy? That is the question. Is it nobler in the mind to possess any less? I just can’t stop. I’m in credit card bliss If I could not shop, I would not exist. I bought every trinket they had in that store Then I got to thinkin', “should I shop some more?” Well, I had no limit on my plastic friend And I did not feel timid, so I went shoppin' again When I missed all my payments, they repo’d my home Had to move to the basement and live all alone ‘Cause they took all the clothes that I got from that store And who wants to know you when you’re naked and poor?
7.
What I thought I wanted I decided I don’t and what I want right now--won’t be long ‘til I won’t Monday I wanted what was over that hill Tuesday I got it and it made me ill I’m in the mode of passion No such thing as any kind of satisfaction Lord, I’m pilin’ up a heavy load. I’m in the mode of passion. So I gave away every single thing that I owned But still that mode of passion wouldn’t leave me alone The next day I went and tried to get it all back-- Everybody said, “Tough luck, Jack.” chorus Mode of passion is sure in fashion Everybody stompin’ on the gas and crashin When you hear me cursin’ and my teeth gnashin’ That’s how you know I’m in the mode of passion. And I can’t stay put, I keep movin’ around I know it ain’t no good. I gotta settle down. I see greener grass somewhere else on the map But when I get there, I see a pile of crap. You want what you ain’t got and when you got it you don’t want it Rajo guna rajo guna rajo guna guna guna Now they taught me an awful lot of things in school Like: how to figure figures and run a power tool But one thing I sure wish they'd taught me about is: How in the world does a man get out of this mode of passion?
8.
Red Rug on the Road of Life! Last night I was takin a drive Out of the city. I was feelin’ alive. And then, What’s that up ahead lookin’ dead? Doggy! Somebody ran over his head. Tried to catch a tail light with all his might now he’s a Red rug on the road of life. My friends said, “Live a little. Get out the fry pan, get on the griddle and Hang ten on a wave of desire, and then Wipe out right into the fire. Come on! Get cookin! You’re gonna be lookin’ like a Red rug on the road of life.” Another achy, flaky mornin’ - take it as a warnin’ : Born and now you’re goin’ out the other door. . . Get hip. Get a grip. Get ready for a long trip - Plan it and you’re standin’ on the planet of the Lord. Hot on the trail of anything salacious Thought failed and all my logic got fallacious. Knocked out tryin’ to live it up. Big Mama Nature gonna make you give it up She’ll get you on your knees - “Hands up, buddy. Freeze!” Another highway pizza, don’t look now, but it’s a Red Rug on the Road of Life.
9.
It seemed like a magical vision Ended up a fountain pourin’ out derision. Sailin’ like a boat on the ocean floor. Don’t wanna bail it out and patch it up anymore I release you. I release you - now let me go. Don’t wanna be another head on a garland of skulls. Had me jumpy and twitchy too. Had me weak and wired and worried Didn’t wanna say nothin’ to freeze you Screwin’ up my head, just a-tryin’ to please you No relief - nothin’ but sand. Them shimmerin’ waves make a man think he’ll get somethin’ to drink. Gotta lotta load to be lightened frightened is what I am at the thought of leavin’ all my tyin’ illusions. solution is just to understand that Reality, no matter how hard it seems to be, Beats a rockin’ fantasy.
10.
Well, there’s an old-time dance everybody must do Won’t be long — you’ll be doin’ it, too Sure as stars at night do twinkle Name of the dance is Stink and Wrinkle Time creeps up slow like an old tomcat And before you know it, you’ll be laid out flat Then, ‘stead o’ wakin’ up like Rip Van Winkle You’ll be doin’ that Stink and Wrinkle Stink to the left and wrinkle to the right Gettin’ kinda loose - it used to be so tight Nippin’ and a tuckin’ and a cakin’ on the paint Tryin’ to make it look like somethin’ that it just ain't Now don’t be sad and dontcha be blue That stinkin’, wrinklin’ thing ain’t you But the more you try to be a swingin’ single The more you cry when it stink and wrinkle
11.
Half blind soul, I’m diggin’ my hole like a mole munchin' out on grubs. No chance of light gettin' to my sight - this picnic is for the bugs And if the rain down-pourin’ catches me snorin’ I’ll be pushin them daisies up . . . Up to the sky and that is why I’m callin' out the Name of the Lord. Flat on my back and stretchin’ on the rack Is the only time I’m lookin up - Up to the sky and I’m prayin’ to my Lord, “I done had enough!” So, whack that drum. I wanna have some fun I wanna get on the dancin’ floor. I wanna be with You, Govinda. I’m callin’ out the Name of the Lord. Hari Haraye Namaha, Radha Krishna prana mor I wanna be with you, Govinda. I’m callin’ out the name of the Lord. And when it’s my time to go—the end of the show And my voice is chokin’ up Up to the sky I wanna fly ‘cause I done had enough So, help me out if I can’t shout and I can’t do nothin' no more. Loud and clear, right in my right ear, call out the name of the Lord. Hari Haraye Namaha, Radha Krishna prana mor I wanna be with you, Govinda. I’m callin’ out the Name of the Lord Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare
12.
Sun comin' up - he's right on time Birds are out talkin' on the telephone line Every blade of grass is right where it ought to be Only one thing is out of place and that thing is me Early in the morning 'til late at night I get a sneaky feelin' somethin' ain't right . . . Like I'm the wrong guy in the wrong place at the wrong time How'd I get in this situation? Doin' the wrong thing in the wrong way The strangest stranger in all of creation. The band plays on - and they keep dancin' My stomach ain't strong enough for all that romancin' Never played Spin The Bottle - I ran the other way And I went full throttle. Now here I am today I said everything that lovers say but I felt a million miles away . . . Like the wrong guy in the wrong place at the wrong time How'd I get in this situation" Doin' the wrong thing in the wrong way The strangest stranger in all of creation. This heart keeps beatin' but it's got limits This temporary skin - I can't get comfortable in it If life is a song, I'm way out of rhythm I don't belong in this whole solar system But enough about me - what about you? Ever feel the same way, too?

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released November 2, 2003

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Ekendra Dasa and the Planet Cow Orchestra Syracuse, New York

In the early '90s, Ekendra toured and recorded with Krishnacore band Shelter. For his first solo CD God Project, he recorded basic tracks himself and collaborated with other instrumentalists via U.S. Mail. Performing Songwriter Magazine voted God Project one of the top DIY albums of the year, calling it, “one of the funniest, infectious slices of country and rockabilly you’re ever likely to hear.” ... more

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