200 Proof Absolute Truth

by Ekendra Dasa and the Planet Cow Orchestra

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released November 2, 2003



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Ekendra Dasa and the Planet Cow Orchestra St. Augustine, Florida

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Track Name: 200 Proof Absolute Truth
I was sufferin' like hell. I had the walkin' amnesia
Whisky didn’t help - nor did Milk of Magnesia
Kept lookin' in the mirror, yellin' “Who is that guy?
Does it even matter if I live or I die?
Who put me here? Maybe somebody goofed!
I need absolute truth. Make it 200 proof.”

My family shrink called it “existential fever”
Aw, but I don’t think that’s it. I don’t believe her
Mama said “Honey, it’s a passin’ phase.
You’re gonna be fine in a couple of days.”
I said, “I doubt it, Mom. Somethin’s rotten at the root.
I need absolute Truth. Make it 200 Proof.”

Don’t water it down. Give it to me straight
I can’t stick around so don’t you be late
The only thing keepin' me from leapin' off a roof
Is absolute truth - 200 proof

Gimme some o’ that brew that don’t go flat
If you got a clue, let me know where it’s at
I don’t care if it don’t go down smooth
I need absolute truth - 200 proof

There’s a place outside o’ this one story town
Where you can get high and never come down
Nobody throws up, everybody has a blast
And the neon signs say “Home At Last”
And even the grafitti on the telephone booth
Is absolute truth - 200 proof
Track Name: Fool Maker
Well, my woman done left me, left me nothin but dirty dishes
And I seen it comin’- seen it comin’ apart at the stitches.
She had looks like Greta Garbo, a left hook like Smokin’ Joe,
And a heart like one o’ them black-hat-and-broom-flyin’ witches.

Now, I grew up thinkin’: “It’s such a fine thing to get shot by Cupid.”
But any wise man knows - somethin’ in them arrows sure makes you stupid.
I coulda been a Ph.D in math but that woman crossed my path,
And to my chagrin, I turned right into a poop-head.


‘Cause it’s a fool maker, hits you like a fifth of liquor
Turns you into a chump, then it’s a skip and a jump
to the undertaker.
They call it “fallin’ in love.” Well, whatever I fell off of,
I’m gettin’ right back on it.
Doggone it, I just can’t take another heartbreaker.

Now, I seen that woman off with another love drunk daddy.
She had a mink coat, diamond rings, sittin’ in a brand new Caddy.
She was spendin’ all his dough. I stepped up and said, “Hello.”
I shook his hand, I said, “Man, you got to be batty.”
Track Name: Red Light Up Ahead
Red light up ahead, hurry up and get dead
Cruisin’ in a long black, wild party in the back
Driver got a lead foot, bridge is out—don’t look
Paintin’ the town, your heartbeat a countdown to
Draggin’ down a hallway in a hospital bed
Red light up ahead.

Cat gut, coon flat, ain’t gonna be that
I’m invincible, long as my tank’s full
Father Time? I can lick him. I’m gonna play chicken
Wait til his eye whites get in my headlights
See me on the TV set: “Man Found Without a Head.”
Red light up ahead

Keep your dumb road map, don’t need sissy crap
Makin’ my own way—thanks a lot anyway
Busted a fuel line—what’s that road sign?
“Welcome to Death Valley.” shoulda got a Rand McNally
Tried to get to heaven and I got to hell instead
red light up ahead
red light up ahead
red light up ahead
red light up ahead
Track Name: Strength Of The Strong
When I get up I wanna get back down
Get on track? I never get around to it
Gravity gets the best of me, apathy takes the rest
Every day’s another great big fight to move myself to do what’s right. I got excuses out the wazoo why I don’t do what I ought to

No way am I gonna get an easy ride - crucified’s more like it
yeah, if I’m livin right and fightin the good fight

Only one sure way to put right the wrong
and I been standin on the parkin' brake for way too long
but nothin' is as wrong as it seems to be
‘cause, Strength of the Strong, You’re within me
oh make me strong enough to break on through
there ain’t much that I can do without You

Wastin' time and watchin' it waste me is a crime.
It ain’t where I wanna be.
I know what I got to do but I don’t do it.
I try to get around, not through it.
Everyday is gonna be a fight but it can be all right if I put
all that I put into bein’ a fool into bein’ a fool for You

Anyway, where it is said that I can just lie down and play dead and
get the red carpet from the Goloka if I think it’s all a big joke?
Track Name: Tooth And Nail
Oh, mind, it’s time we had a little conversation
I can’t stand you runnin' around all over creation
And I’m to blame—I can’t seem to tame you at all
You are a 24/7 obscene phone call

I try to meditate. I chant two hours a day
Try my best to keep them bad desires away
Soon as you see some scantily-clad bimbo
My meditation flies right out the window

Oh, my dear mind, why can’t you just stay on the trail -
for a little while? Tell me why you got to fight me tooth and nail.

Now, luckily for me, I got instructions—
An owners’ manual full of Vedic injunctions
Book is on the shelf-I really ought to read it
Like anything else—a mind is what you feed it

Oh, my dear mind, why can’t you just stay on the trail
for a little while? Tell me why you got to fight me tooth and nail.
Track Name: To Be Or Not To Buy
I was feelin low down cause I had no job
Instead of filet mignon, I was eatin' corn on the cob
Then a platinum VISA came addressed to me
So I cheered myself up with a big shoppin' spree

To be or not to buy? That is the question.
Is it nobler in the mind to possess any less?
I just can’t stop. I’m in credit card bliss
If I could not shop, I would not exist.

I bought every trinket they had in that store
Then I got to thinkin', “should I shop some more?”
Well, I had no limit on my plastic friend
And I did not feel timid, so I went shoppin' again

When I missed all my payments, they repo’d my home
Had to move to the basement and live all alone
‘Cause they took all the clothes that I got from that store
And who wants to know you when you’re naked and poor?
Track Name: Mode of Passion
What I thought I wanted I decided I don’t
and what I want right now--won’t be long ‘til I won’t
Monday I wanted what was over that hill
Tuesday I got it and it made me ill

I’m in the mode of passion
No such thing as any kind of satisfaction
Lord, I’m pilin’ up a heavy load. I’m in the mode of passion.

So I gave away every single thing that I owned
But still that mode of passion wouldn’t leave me alone
The next day I went and tried to get it all back--
Everybody said, “Tough luck, Jack.”


Mode of passion is sure in fashion
Everybody stompin’ on the gas and crashin
When you hear me cursin’ and my teeth gnashin’
That’s how you know I’m in the mode of passion.

And I can’t stay put, I keep movin’ around
I know it ain’t no good. I gotta settle down.
I see greener grass somewhere else on the map
But when I get there, I see a pile of crap.

You want what you ain’t got and when you got it you don’t want it
Rajo guna rajo guna rajo guna guna guna

Now they taught me an awful lot of things in school
Like: how to figure figures and run a power tool
But one thing I sure wish they'd taught me about is:
How in the world does a man get out of this

mode of passion?
Track Name: Red Rug On The Road Of Life
Red Rug on the Road of Life!

Last night I was takin a drive
Out of the city. I was feelin’ alive. And then,
What’s that up ahead lookin’ dead? Doggy!
Somebody ran over his head.
Tried to catch a tail light with all his might now he’s a
Red rug on the road of life.

My friends said, “Live a little.
Get out the fry pan, get on the griddle and
Hang ten on a wave of desire, and then
Wipe out right into the fire. Come on!
Get cookin! You’re gonna be lookin’ like a
Red rug on the road of life.”

Another achy, flaky mornin’ - take it as a warnin’ :
Born and now you’re goin’ out the other door. . .
Get hip. Get a grip. Get ready for a long trip -
Plan it and you’re standin’ on the planet of the Lord.

Hot on the trail of anything salacious
Thought failed and all my logic got fallacious.
Knocked out tryin’ to live it up.
Big Mama Nature gonna make you give it up

She’ll get you on your knees - “Hands up, buddy. Freeze!”
Another highway pizza, don’t look now, but it’s a
Red Rug on the Road of Life.
Track Name: Rocking Fantasy
It seemed like a magical vision
Ended up a fountain pourin’ out derision.
Sailin’ like a boat on the ocean floor.
Don’t wanna bail it out and patch it up anymore

I release you. I release you - now let me go.
Don’t wanna be another head on a garland of skulls.

Had me jumpy and twitchy too.
Had me weak and wired and worried
Didn’t wanna say nothin’ to freeze you
Screwin’ up my head, just a-tryin’ to please you

No relief - nothin’ but sand.
Them shimmerin’ waves make a man think he’ll get
somethin’ to drink.

Gotta lotta load to be lightened
frightened is what I am at the thought of
leavin’ all my tyin’ illusions.
solution is just to understand that

Reality, no matter how hard it seems to be,
Beats a rockin’ fantasy.
Track Name: The Stink And Wrinkle
Well, there’s an old-time dance everybody must do
Won’t be long — you’ll be doin’ it, too
Sure as stars at night do twinkle
Name of the dance is Stink and Wrinkle

Time creeps up slow like an old tomcat
And before you know it, you’ll be laid out flat
Then, ‘stead o’ wakin’ up like Rip Van Winkle
You’ll be doin’ that Stink and Wrinkle

Stink to the left and wrinkle to the right
Gettin’ kinda loose - it used to be so tight

Nippin’ and a tuckin’ and a cakin’ on the paint
Tryin’ to make it look like somethin’ that it just ain't

Now don’t be sad and dontcha be blue
That stinkin’, wrinklin’ thing ain’t you
But the more you try to be a swingin’ single
The more you cry when it stink and wrinkle
Track Name: Calling Out The Name Of The Lord
Half blind soul, I’m diggin’ my hole like a mole munchin' out on grubs.
No chance of light gettin' to my sight - this picnic is for the bugs
And if the rain down-pourin’ catches me snorin’
I’ll be pushin them daisies up . . .
Up to the sky and that is why I’m callin' out the Name of the Lord.

Flat on my back and stretchin’ on the rack
Is the only time I’m lookin up -
Up to the sky and I’m prayin’ to my Lord, “I done had enough!”
So, whack that drum. I wanna have some fun
I wanna get on the dancin’ floor.
I wanna be with You, Govinda. I’m callin’ out the Name of the Lord.

Hari Haraye Namaha, Radha Krishna prana mor
I wanna be with you, Govinda. I’m callin’ out the name of the Lord.

And when it’s my time to go—the end of the show
And my voice is chokin’ up
Up to the sky I wanna fly ‘cause I done had enough
So, help me out if I can’t shout and I can’t do nothin' no more.
Loud and clear, right in my right ear, call out the name of the Lord.

Hari Haraye Namaha, Radha Krishna prana mor
I wanna be with you, Govinda. I’m callin’ out the Name of the Lord

Hare Krishna Hare Krishna
Krishna Krishna Hare Hare
Hare Rama Hare Rama
Rama Rama Hare Hare
Track Name: The Strangest Stranger
Sun comin' up - he's right on time
Birds are out talkin' on the telephone line
Every blade of grass is right where it ought to be
Only one thing is out of place and that thing is me

Early in the morning 'til late at night
I get a sneaky feelin' somethin' ain't right . . .

Like I'm the wrong guy in the wrong place at the wrong time
How'd I get in this situation?
Doin' the wrong thing in the wrong way
The strangest stranger in all of creation.

The band plays on - and they keep dancin'
My stomach ain't strong enough for all that romancin'
Never played Spin The Bottle - I ran the other way
And I went full throttle. Now here I am today

I said everything that lovers say but I felt a million miles away . . .

Like the wrong guy in the wrong place at the wrong time
How'd I get in this situation"
Doin' the wrong thing in the wrong way
The strangest stranger in all of creation.

This heart keeps beatin' but it's got limits
This temporary skin - I can't get comfortable in it
If life is a song, I'm way out of rhythm
I don't belong in this whole solar system

But enough about me - what about you? Ever feel the same way, too?