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    Cover Artwork ("There Is No Love In The Material World") by Jeffrey, Age 4, from Columbus, Ohio.

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This album would have been called, "More Songs Relating To The Operation Of Certain Types Of Motor Vehicles," except the friendly people at Krishnaphonic Recording Company said that was "too many letters for the spine." "Fine," I said. "Then let's not have a spine." "Okay," they said. But then someone suggested "Car toons," you know, since it has a double meaning, like "tunes" relating to "cars," and since the songs proceed in a philosophical narrative highlighting how our life in the temporary world, within temporary bodies, is a type of comic/tragic, two-dimensional representation of our real life in the Absolute world. Plus, my wife liked the cartoon.


released May 29, 2009

Ekendra Dasa: guitars, percussion, harmonica
Badahari Dasa: keyboards
Engineered by Badahari Dasa



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Ekendra Dasa and the Planet Cow Orchestra St. Augustine, Florida

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Track Name: No Communication Zone
Here we go again
another knock-down, drag-out episode
some dynamite thing you said
ignited inside my head

you should know, my friend
I don't fight. I only explode
there goes the afternoon
up in a sonic boom

a light as bright as a million suns
is right inside of everyone
I can't see it shining at all
so I fight every shadow on the wall

hey there, stranger
what is it with this atmosphere
every day we're in brand new danger
of coming in too loud, not too clear
it's a no communication zone

it ought to be so easy
we're so advanced
telephone in every pocket and
every kind of online romance

I'll be overjoyed
if we can avoid disaster
seems like all I do is
misconstrue you faster

I think I've found what we're missing
we got talking down but it's so hard to listen
cause if it means that I got to change, then
I don't want to hear what you're saying.

hey there, stranger
what is it with this atmosphere
every day we're in brand new danger
of coming in too loud, not too clear
it's a no communication zone

you and I see stars in the sky
sun in the daytime
moon at night
same light different eyes
common ground different shoe size

somehow we got ourselves into this situation
everybody tuned into completely different stations

they’re all wrong and we’re all right
that’s the song of the insane inside
tune out that voice within
listen to trouble begin
Track Name: I'm On Fire
I like chowing down until I can’t think
And my eyes bug out until I can’t blink
and a time bomb is where my stomach was
but, hey, kids, you only blow up once


I’m on fire
I got pleasure to burn
I get so blinded by desire
That I never do learn

Them hands of time done a job on my face
It’s got more lines than Shakespeare’s plays
My goose is cooked, my days are numbered
But I’m reading a book called How To Look Younger


I’m gonna drive all night in my Coupe de Ville
In the bright moonlight by the old boot hill
They got big stone hats saying R.I.P.
But I ain’t gonna let that happen to me


If my hair falls out I’ll have an operation
If my manhood goes south, I got medication
If I can’t defecate, I’ll get that under control
Then I’ll get a hot date and let the good times roll
Track Name: Never Ever Land
Air conditioner here, television over there
Down the road is an ocean of groceries
I feel fine here in my easy chair
No sign of any deadly disease

Maybe I should be satisfied
Try being an average guy
Two point one kids and a big satellite dish

All my life I been a desperate man
Never did figure out what I wanted to be
When and if I grow up
I got no five or ten year plan
Just a time bomb tickin inside me

Can’t believe I made it this far
Every evening, I wish upon a star,
“make me sane, Lord make me “me” again

how do people ever settle down
not feel a shadow of a doubt
is this all there is, or is there
something I should know? Don’t tell me, I’ll

stay dumb never get smarter
havin fun is a whole lot harder
when you know too much
and God, I know too much
so maybe I’ll
get high and never get sober
then my troubles will be over
sounds like a plan
stay in Never Ever Land oh yeah man.

when I was a kid I had unlimited time
blew it all on candy and TV
now I don’t get one minute that’s mine
always someplace else that I got to be

down deep I got a lotta love
try to keep it always covered up
play it cool. Don’t be a fool and show it

down deep, I hate to be alone
but you can’t put your hand on the phone
‘when the grass grows high on a hillside
where your body lies, and if I just had

one chance, one more moment. I’d
make it last. I keep on hoping I could get that chance
but we all get that chance and blow it
yeah, we get high and never get sober
thinkin’ “my trouble will be over”
that sounds like a plan
to stay in Never Ever Land
Track Name: Hook On A Line
Sundown time I found true love du jour
Same old wine—that bottle looked a little newer
Another fine mornin' wakin up down in the sewer
Workin' on makin' my black eyes a little bluer.

Sign told me to buy an expensive gizmo
Custom made for enhancing my machismo
Now, them advertising lies they all rang hollow
But when they grab my eyes, the wallet tends to follow

May look fine, take my advice:
It’s a hook on a line. Don’t look twice, now.

Genuine happiness is hard to find
Unless you can leave behind what looks like it might be a good time

May look fine, take my advice:
It’s a hook on a line. Don’t look twice, now.

All my life I been told that all that shines is not gold
But I keep biting on that line

Now, I drag around this bag of bad addictions
I’m beggin now for a couple of benedictions:
For every time I took the hook-can I have forgiveness?
And, next time, let me mind my own damn business.
Track Name: Every Single Neon Light
I wish there was a Santa Claus
Wish there was some way I could get back what I lost
I wish there was a Santa Claus
Wish there was some way I could get back what I lost
When you’re young, you never realize the cost
Wish I could get back what I lost

I wish I never lost a friend
Too many people I may never see again
I wish I never lost a friend
Too many people I may never see again
When you’re young, you think it’s never going to end
I wish I never lost a friend

Sleeping in the automobile
Daddy’s at the wheel
And all I got to do is dream
Every single neon light says
Everything will be all right
Or so it seemed

If I become a child again
Will I be wishing that I could become a man?
If I become a child again
Will I be wishing that I could become a man?
Will I be any wiser than I am?
When I become a child again?
Track Name: Desperate, Restless Feeling
If I had myself a big, fat Cadillac car
And a rock and roll band
And all my favorite publications calling me a star
And people wanting to shake my hand

Would I be a happy man?
I could be happy anywhere unless it’s where I am, because

As long as I been breathing
No matter where I roam
I got a desperate restless feeling
That I can’t shake and it won’t leave me alone

I been on a half a mile long locomotive train
Rolling way on down the line
And way up in the sky on a DC9 jet aeroplane
Tryin to get out of my mind

This one goes out to all the friends I left behind
I’m gonna see you again on the other side. And

Nighttime follows evening
What goes up must come down
And that desperate restless feeling
Never fails to follow me around

If I had myself a big, fat Cadillac car
For every time I felt this way
Desperate and restless as a June bug in a jar
Wishing I could fly away

So far away
I would own so many Cadillacs,
I’d have to buy the highway

And as long as I keep dreaming
I’m gonna keep on singing them blues
Somebody take this desperate, restless feeling and
Turn it in to something I can use
Track Name: Om Gimme This
Mom told me, before you go to bed
Get on your knees. Bow your head. Say
Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
Bless all of us, every one
In You we trust, Thy will be done

Then I got so jaded— I did not care.
I updated all my prayers
I prayed for cars, prayed to get girlfriends
Guitars and money to spend
“Now I lay me down to sleep” became
Hand it over, Lord. Don’t be cheap

Om gimme this, Om gimme that
And the other thing, too, while You’re at it
Deliver it overnight, if You please
I’m doin’ my bit here on my knees

Well, the Lord came through. I got the goods
I was well-to-do in my neighborhood
I went draggin’ downtown with Linda Lou
Ragtop down on my Malibu
I was a hometown king of rock and roll
I got everything but I lost my soul

Cause I looked around at all I had got
I could have been happy. I was not
Linda Lou was fried. She said, Buddy,
If you ain’t satisfied, you’re nutty
We broke up, my car broke down
And the guitar made the most lonesome sound

So here’s the deal, you kids out there:
Don’t be like me when you say your prayers
Don't try and get God workin for you
As if He had nothing better to do
Or else someday you’ll live to regret it
Careful what you pray for—you are gonna get it.
Track Name: The Edge Of Life
I woke up frozen, tired and bewildered
I blew my nose in a coffee filter
My wife said,
“Get outta bed, now honey”
I said what? Are you trying to be funny?
Yappin’ dog came and stole my shoes
I stepped on a slug, got the barefoot blues
I think I wanna get back into bed –
Start all over again

That’s the way it all goes down
Out here on the edge of town
It’s so hard just to get around
No matter how fast you drive
On the edge of the road is a ditch
For everybody who’d rather fight than switch
Dancing on the edge of a knife
Here I am on the edge of life

My next door neighbor said, “How ya doin?”
I said, “My whole life is a ruin.
I’m a mess. I need professional help.”
He said, “Next time, keep it to yourself.”
Never knew when I was suckin’ my thumb
I was headed for this much fun
But by the time you realize what you’re in for
you’re in formaldehyde.

On the edge of pleasure and pain
I’m goin’ borderline insane
Try-in to stay in the game
Tryin to look alive
It’s a game of cosmic pickle
Birth and death and I’m in the middle
Dancing on the edge of a knife
Here I am on the edge of life

Well all my ills seem to last forever
But I’m not thrilled about becomin’ a cadaver
Let me live a little longer then maybe
I’ll get it together. I’ll be hip and swingin’ baby
You try and tie up every little loose end
Then it all gets unraveled again
I’m in the fit to be untied category
And this is my sad story

Hanging off the edge of a cliff
Does it ever get better than this
Think about everything I won’t miss
When I take that dive
Jammed in between heaven and hell
There’s me and I’m not doin too well
Dancing on the edge of a knife
Here I am on the edge of life

Dancing on the edge of a knife
Here I am on the edge of life
Track Name: The Man In The Photograph
photo in my file
face i know so well
frozen in a smile going
up and down on a carousel

photograph of mine
what story do you tell?
once there was a guy
who tried everything to please himself

every once in a while
i get pulled into my past
takin a ride through the black and white, I'm young again
thinkin I'm that man in the photograph

here's one of you and i
standing by a waterfall
every time i see it
i am falling like that river water

once upon a time
i got butterflies when you walked by
how could i see i would
turn out to be the bad guy

river runs like time
we got carried down it fast
hope you like your brand new life
the one in which I'm not the man in your photographs

let's stop the action for a fraction of a second then we'll
add to our collection of distractions and call it a memory

whispers in the night
fade away into the air
long as there's sufficient light
a picture haunts you everywhere

photograph of mine
how can I break your spell?
every time I see you
I am right back on that carousel

takin one more ride
fallin for reflected light
world goin round the sun goin down
and I'm still thinking I'm that man

In the photo in my file
Face I know so well
Track Name: Snide Remark In My General Direction
I’m a man of peace. I play fair
I got firm belief in the power of prayer
I’m mellow as the month of May
I will say hello if you come my way but
Get a load of my evil twin
Step on my toes and you will see him attack
Like a rattlesnake on crack
As soon as you make a
Snide remark in my general direction
So don’t you ever make a
Snide remark in my general direction

I don’t start fights. I don’t make fusses
I don’t wear dynamite and blow up buses
I like everybody And everything
I never shot nobody at a Burger King, but
I could terrorize this whole town
If you dare try to put me down
I’ll scream. I’ll beat my chest
You’ve never seen
Such a hornet’s nest

Snide remark in my general direction
You better leggo my ego
Snide remark in my general direction

I get the headlines. I see the faces
So many front lines in so many places
It’s hell. It’s a boxing ring
And at the bell we all come out swinging
Saying don’t you tread on me
But guess what happens in the cemetery
The President and the Kaiser
At the bitter end, are the same fertilizer

Snide remark in my general direction
You don’t know who you’re dealing with
Snide remark in my general direction
Track Name: The Great Unknown Man Of Mystery
He was alone in a great, big world
Nobody knew his name
Made up his mind he was going to find
Universal, everlasting fame
Like a shooting star in the night
He was out to catch everybody’s eye
Off in the distance sometimes
He could hear a voice say, “Why?”

Like an actor on a stage
He loved being someone else
Never wanted the crowd to go home
Didn’t know how to be himself
He could be a barrel of laughs
Then make you want to write h is epitaph
All mixed-up inside
Like a Heckle and Jeckle and Hyde

So give it up for the great unknown man of mystery
Let’s hear it come on
In his mind he was the kind of guy everyone should love
Never knew where he was at
Talkin’ this and walking that
Walked through this world
Not knowing who was doing the walking

He always knew his lines
He always had a good time
In the morning he was gone
To put another costume on
Couldn’t help but B.S.U.
Never graduated from that school
Did he promise you the sun and the moon?
Hope you didn’t need them anytime soon


If he was walking what he was talking
He would have got somewhere
But he was faking it, making out like he was already there
Lord, I’ve been going great guns
Trying to be anyone but who I am
They’re gonna take my bones and write on my stone,
“Here lies the Unknown Man”

He only wanted to be someone--Like a lot of us do
But who that “someone” was, he didn’t have a clue
Set out to find one
On a sunny day
When the snow was piled high
As he drove away
People said, “Who was that guy?”
Track Name: Why Aren't There More Songs Like This On The Radio?
On my way to Atlanta,
My tank was on zero
So I stopped for gasoline
The real American hero
I put my card in
I stood there wonderin’
Did I still have money?
Was I still somebody?

I saw an old man walkin’
He had a hard time walkin’
So I did a little backward bendin’
As if that would keep me young
But everything here
Is so temporary
Sign said lift the nozzle
Fill ‘er up and hit the highway

In the pickup next to me
I saw a red haired girl
Smokin’ a cigarette
Otherwise attractive
I saw her ponytail
I saw her seein’ me
But what I could not see
Was the soul inside
I know that’s the real deal
But I’m not there yet
All I can see is
Red hair and cigarettes

Why can’t I stay young?
Why must I get old?
While we’re on the subject,
What am I here for?
Was I a malcontent
In a perfect world?

Is that what landed me
In the twentieth century?
Who is in charge here?
Tell me, who runs the show?
If I ever find out
There’s a lotta things I’d sure like to know

Muhammad Ali said
He was the greatest
In nineteen seventy-four
He does not say that anymore
Time passes so fast
Quickly away it slips
Through the middle of an hourglass
Shaped like a woman’s hips
And every grain of sand, it
Flows down the river
And from the river
To the sea

They say life began there
But I know better
Why aren’t there more songs
Like this on the radio?